Frustration! And a frustrated roar from Tryggr to match!
Why So Frustrated?
We all have to work to pay the bills and to make ends meet. Even for the simplest pleasures in life. Work often takes over our lives in order to fulfill the demands of living. This often leaves less time to dedicate specifically to game development. Lately especially, the frustration stems from seemingly not having enough personal time.
Even if survival on a minimal amount of sleep means that you get most of what you’d planned doing done, it’ll eventually catch up to you. And you always reimburse sleep debt, with interest!
What Happened?
The same happened today (Wednesday). I had the day off in between shifts and one minute I was eager and ready to go. The next I fell asleep at the keyboard, without warning and with Smile Game Builder still open.
I woke up 8 hours later; it was dark outside, with SGB exactly as I’d left off. But somehow that initial momentum had gone. Two wake-up coffees later, the grogginess and puffy-eyed blurriness were still present.
I’ve tried looking for other jobs. None pay the same amount as my current job for the same number of hours I work. I’m not ungrateful that I have a job that allows the bills to be paid or which gives the freedom to pursue my hobbyist aspirations on days off. Working nights is draining and has messed up my body clock completely.
It might be different if I actually LIKED my job. Even a little. But I hate it, every part of it. And that often spills into personal life, affecting motivation and inspiration.
In An Ideal World
In an ideal world, what I’d REALLY like to do is go into game development full time.
I know several game developers who quit their jobs and did just that. They are my inspiration and aspiration.
Without a solid financial backup in place, however, that’s very risky. And a risk I can ill-afford to take right now. I have no backup plan, at least none I can take action on yet. This is mostly due to lack of courage and self-confidence. It’s a fear of the unknown and the risks for future failures.
Some of the most noteworthy, prolific game developers started as amateur hobbyists and worked their way up. We all need to start somewhere, at the bottom of the ladder, and climb our way to the top.
Hence, that’s precisely the direction I aim to follow. My involvement with game development actually started with the Sinclair ZX81, but more seriously with the ZX Spectrum. I went in a different direction, however, something I regret now. That said, it can still be advantageous.
The Next Steps
From here, I guess the next steps are to rearrange my lifestyle to suit the demands that dedicated game development brings. That’s not hard, since I’m quite good at time management.
The second step is to procure sponsors, people who are willing to invest in what I do. And that way their sponsorship can contribute to expenses I’d otherwise take out of my own pocket, thereby, giving more opportunity to invest in the game development part of it.
And the final step would be to study the market thoroughly. Unique content, things no one has done before, are probably top of the list.
In any event, there must be more concessions so that I can deliver quality content, notably in the form of tutorials (not just for SGB but RPG Maker as well). And that ultimately means sacrificing some of the things I enjoy doing.
One way or another, I’m becoming increasingly more determined.
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